What Really Happens During Meditation?

Building Confidence in Meditation with The 6 Stages of Presence.

When you first begin a meditation practice—or return to one after a break—it’s natural to wonder what really happens during meditation. Is it supposed to be calm and quiet? Should you be completely still, free of thought? What if you’re not? These questions are part of the journey. And the truth is, meditation isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about meeting yourself right where you are and learning how to stay.

What really happens during meditation is often far more layered than most people expect. It’s not just about silence or stillness—it’s about developing a relationship with the present moment. Like any relationship, it deepens in stages. Awareness of the six stages of presence—Settling In, Witnessing, Drifting, Judging, Surrender, and Stillness—can help demystify the process for building confidence in meditation, especially if you’re someone who thinks you’re “not doing it right.” Each stage offers a doorway into awareness, and each one builds confidence as you return again and again to the practice.

Meditation isn’t about clearing the mind or becoming someone new—it’s about remembering who you already are beneath the noise. But getting there doesn’t always feel calm, quiet, or mystical. It’s a process. And like any process, there are stages that unfold along the way.

These six stages aren’t rules or steps to follow. They’re experiences you’ll likely move through again and again each time you sit. And knowing them helps you meet your meditation practice with more understanding, patience, and confidence.

Older beginner new to meditation sits in a chair to settle into her practice session, listening to a guided meditation with headphones.

1. Settling In

This is where you arrive. You take your seat—on the cushion, in a chair, maybe even lying down—and bring your awareness inward. You notice your breath, the sounds around you, the contact points of your body. You’re not “meditating” yet, not really—you’re just arriving.

“The present moment begins when you say yes to what’s already here.” – Judith Hanson Lasater

Let this phase be gentle. You don’t need to force stillness. You’re simply shifting gears—from doing to being. From out there to in here.

2. Witnessing

As you begin to settle, awareness becomes a little more steady. You start noticing sensations, thoughts, and breath with a bit more spaciousness. This is the “watching” phase. You’re witnessing what arises, not reacting to it. You might feel calm—or agitated. That’s not the point. The point is awareness.

“Mindfulness isn’t about getting rid of anything. It’s about becoming more aware of what’s already present.” – Sharon Salzberg

This stage builds your capacity to be with what is—without needing to change it.

3. Drifting

Inevitably, the mind wanders. You drift. Maybe you start mentally replaying a conversation or planning dinner. This isn’t a failure. It’s part of the process. It’s how the brain releases tension.

“When the mind drifts, and you gently return, that’s not a distraction—it’s a moment of awakening.” – Davidji

The key here is to notice when you’ve wandered, and then gently return to your anchor. That return is the repetition that builds your meditation muscle.

4. Judging

This is often the sneakiest stage. You realize you’ve drifted and then… cue the inner critic. “I can’t do this.” “Why is my brain so busy?” It’s common to judge your practice—or yourself—here.

But here’s the truth: judgment is just another thought. It doesn’t mean anything about your worth or your ability.

“You’re not your thoughts. You’re the one who notices them.” – Tiffany Cruikshank, Yoga Medicine

This phase is actually rich with insight. It gives you the chance to practice self-compassion in real time.

5. Surrender

Eventually, something softens. Maybe it’s your breath. Maybe it’s your resistance. But in this stage, you begin to let go—not by pushing anything away, but by no longer holding on so tightly.

“You can’t force stillness. But you can make room for it.” – Judith Hanson Lasater

This is surrender—not giving up, but giving in. Trusting that it’s okay to not be in control. This is where healing begins to root.

6. Stillness

Stillness isn’t the absence of thought—it’s the presence of peace beneath the thought. It might last a few seconds or a few minutes. It might feel like a deep breath, a warm wave, or simply the sense that you’re okay right now.

“We don’t meditate for the experience during meditation—we meditate for the transformation it brings to the rest of our life.” – Davidji

This is the sweet spot. But it’s not a prize you win. It’s a glimpse into your natural state—always available, just beneath the surface.

Meditation isn’t linear. You’ll move in and out of these stages within the same sit. Some days, you’ll hang out in judgment. Other days, you’ll touch stillness within moments. That’s all part of the path.

What matters most is showing up. Let the practice be messy, honest, real. Let it be yours. The more you understand what happens when you sit still, the more confidence you’ll build in the process.

Because the real practice isn’t about staying still or touching into a mystical realm—it’s about coming back, again and again, to yourself.

Begin your meditation journey with confidence: Learn to meditate with Master Meditation Teacher, Joy Zazzera, in this digital ebook designed for beginners.

👉 Want more expert guidance on developing a confident meditation practice?

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References

Cruikshank, Tiffany and Bismark, Rashmi, Yin & Meditation, Yoga Medicine, 2022

Davidji, Masters of Wisdom & Meditation Teacher Training Manual & Lecture Notes. Davidji Meditation Academy, 2025.